Attack From the Deep
by zip zip zip
Summary: For some odd reasons, Spongebob wants to kill Ninjas, Ninjas want to kill Sea Animals, and everyone is retarded. Why? Because, it makes for a great humor.
1. Chapter 1

This story is Co-authored with Ten ways to spoil dinner. Please give him credit whenever you acknowledge this story.

Warning: Some viewers may find this story not to their taste. Do not read it if you are: White, Black, Spanish, Asian, Smart, Tall, Short, fat, skinny, a ninja, a sea animal, or a vegetable.

Attack From The Deep

Chapter one: CLOSED!?

Dark, Dangerous,and deep...NO! We aren't talking about Ino's vagina! We're talking about the deep blue sea, and all of the dumb asses that live there.

It started one not-so-normal morning in Bikini Bottom, and a pun is intended. Spongebob Squarepants, a Square sponge with Square pants, and his best friend Patrick Starr, who is a starfish, were walking to their second favorite place in the the whole world: Jellyfish.

"We're almost there, Patrick," Spongebob's squeaky voice rang out with.

"I know that, Fucktart," Patrick replied in a rather apathetic tone. Spongebob was in his normal happy because they were going to Jellyfish, his favorite sport.

"Wait a sec'." Spongebob _Dumb_pants commanded

"... Me? You talkin' to me?" Patrick inquired.

"Uh... yeah, there's no one else here. Are all of those heavy metal concerts making you deaf?" Spongebob asked

"What about a dead squirrel? Patrick asked stupidly, and deafly.

"I said: ARE. YOU. DEAF!" Spongebob yelled so the starfish could hear him.

Patrick blinked lazily. "What about me being dead?"

Spongebob gave an agitated sigh, saying, "Whatever," before walking again. "I was going to say something, but now I forgot what. I think it was something like... yo mama is so fat, she has her own moon. No wait, maybe it was... Chuck Norris doesn't read, he stares the book down until he gets the information he wants. No wait..." But before he could go on,Patrick interrupted.

"Maybe you wanted to tell me that 'Jellyfish fields is closed because we are to damn lazy to contain the jellyfishessexy parties." As he said that, a jelly fish in a sailor suit, being followed by numerous jellyfishes in bunny costumes, zoomed by.

Spongebob took one look at the scene and said, "Damn! I wanna piece of that action."

"You couldn't get any of that even if you _did_look good." Patrick insulted. "But any way, here's the real question: What do you do when they take a poo in your shoe, but you don't have a sole?"

"Uh... throw it away?" Spongebob answered.

"No, dum bass. You go to the Krusty Krab and get drunk." Patrick answered joyfully.

"Right..." Spongebob replied, unsure of what to make of hi friends 'answer'.

"But anyway. I need to go behind that rock." Patrick said, walking behind a large rock.

Spongebob, out of stupid curiosity, walked behind the rock. He walked out from behind the rock with both eyes twitching. "Never.... walk... behind.... a rock.... again."

Patrick also walked out. His pants were down, but some coral was in the way of anything children may not want to see "What? I do that every thursday?''

"Patrick," Spongebnob began, "Please pull your pant up."

"No." The moronic marine starfish answered, "Because my pants like to be down and around, just like yo mama."

"Right.... fruit fag." Spongebob said, walking away. "Come one. Let's just go to the Krusty Krab."

"Sure thing." Patricksaid, following, his pants still down.

--

"What the FUCK!" Naruto yelled complaining in Tsunade's office, "Why haven't we even been introduced yet. I mean COME ON. The story is in the Naruto section. It's about Naruto, not a retarded sponge and an even more retarded star fish who go around doing things that defy nature."

"Simmer down, Naruto," Tsunade ordered, sitting at her office desk.

"Says you and your big jugs." Naruto muttered, though she still heard him.

"WHAT WAS THAT!" Tsunade yelled, fire being clearly seen in her eyes....

...3...2...1...

BOOM! Naruto was thrown out of the Hokage's office window. He fell down, down, down, onto the street, landing on Hinata.... who blushed very deeply.


	2. Chapter 2

Yeah. Second chapter in one day.

A day in the life of the guy who's finally in the story.

(Phew. Long title.)

It had been three hours. Three _fucking _hours since he was thrown out of that window. Naruto walked down the street, hoping to eat at Ichiraku had been a week since he had eaten there, because missions kept him busy.

He noticed something was strange about the street. Ayame and the her father, the ship's owner, weren't there. And there was a sign that read, 'Closed for infestation of rats, roaches, bats, and hairy beasts (NOT Ino's vagina.)'

"WHAT! Ichiraku's is closed! WHY!" Naruto yelled in terror, how could this have happened? Well, it said so on the sign...

"You really are a dope." Sasuke said, walking down the street, "It says it's infested, that's why. And why would you want to eat in that rat's nest anyway."

''Maybe because Roach Roman might taste good'' Naruto loud voice rang out.

Then, Sakura came running down the streets of the hidden leaf Naruto turns his head to see the most unexpected thing in the world. ''Oh my god!'' Naruto sprays out. He said that because Sakura was in a bathing suit.

She pretty much ignored Naruto, bypassing him and walking up to Sasuke. "Hi Sasuke!" She said enthusiastically. Sasuke ignored her, the same way she did to Naruto

"S-S-Sakura," Naruto stuttered.

Sakura let out an annoyed sigh, turning to Naruto, "What." She asked, agitated.

"U-um," Naruto said, just twinge (A LOT more than that, actually), "Would you, uh, mind, uh, going, uh, out, uh, with, uh, me, uh."

Sasuke snickered when he heard his question, "What's with all of the 'uhs'. Did your brain fall out again?"

Sakura had heart eyes, "Yeah, Sasuke." She then turned got Naruto yelling, "NO!" Before punching the ninja in orange in the face. He flew back into Ichiraku's. He looked around. There was a lot of rats around him. "Wow... there's a lot of rats here. Too bad, I was hoping for some cockroach ramen."

He blinked as several roaches surrounded him, and they seemed angry....

...Naruto was thrown out of the ramen shop, and fell near the house that belonged to another ninja:Kiba.

"Huh. What the hell happened out here?" Kiba said. He was walking his dog, Akamaru, though there was no leash (Kiba is, was, and always will be against leashes.). "Oh, it's you. what the hell are you doing?" Kiba asked. Naruto was, in fact, stuck in a tree, hanging by his pants.

"Nothing,. What's you and that mutt doing today. Walking? Boring!" Naruto yelped.

"What did you say?" Kiba asked, angered. "Did you say MUTT!"

Naruto gulped. Kiba looked pissed off. "Sick him, boy." Kiba ordered his dog.

What was usually a normal small white dog was now a large reddish brown dog who looked even more pissed than his master. "Crap. Crap. Crap." Naruto repeated.... then the Akamaru leaped, "Crap infinity."

Naruto struggled to free himself from the tree as the dog neared him, still in mid-leap. But to no avail; Akamaru pounced, riping Naruto's underwear as they fell to the ground,causing a large amount of smoke.

As the smoke cleared, Naruto was covered in cuts and bruises. "Ow...." He murmured, looking at the dog with disdain.

Kiba then smirked saying, "Now, Akamaru, bark." His dog did so. The bark was so loud it created shock waves that blasted Naruto away.

Naruto was flown far, far, away. And I mean FAR away. He landed in shallow water. It was near a beach somewhere. How the hell did Kiba teach his dog something like that? Well, that question bored the blond ninja, so he looked around.

Some time later, when Naruto gave up looking, sittnig on the beach,wondering where, exactly, he was. He sighed, "Where the hell am I, and why am I sitting here?"

"That's because you're a complete idiot." Naruto heard someone.

"Huh? Who said that? wha- I must be going crazy! NO! I'VE GONE INSANE,WHY!" He sobbed.

"You've hit a new levelof stupid, you know that." Sasuke said, kicking Naruto in the rear.

"Ow. What was that for?" Narto asked.

Sasuke replied simply, "Your mom. Now... we should get back to the village. Right Sakura." He turned to Sakura, who was standing next to Kakashi.

"Yep... and Naruto, can you, for once, NOT call Kiba a mutt?" She asked im.

"Never!." Naruto answered turning to the sea. "Anyway. I'm thirsty. So... let's go to sea. Because it's made of water, see, All the water we can drink." He said stupidly.

"That's stupid" Sasuke replied.

"Oh, yeah." Naruto began, "I'm gonna go to sea and not let you have ANY water." Naruto turned to sea and made a giant leap,landing in the ocean.

"I guess we should follow" Kakashia began, making his first line in the story, "Knowing Naruto, it should be funny."

"Whatever." Sasuke replied, not really caring.

The three of them jumped in after Naruto.

"HEY! Sasuk isn't allowed to have water!" Naruto yelled as they neared.

"First of all: Sasuke CAN have water," Sakura began, "And second, why can we breathe underwater?"

"Because we're awesome." Naruto answered, but Sasuke gave a better answer.

"Because the fucking authors want us to." Sasuke's answer gave Sakura heart eyes, again.

Naruto walked ahead of them, steping on some coral. "Hey, guys, and a girl, I see something. Some kind of building. 'Krusty Kat' or something."

"It's Krusty Krab dumb ass." Sasuke answered, seeing he building too. "Let's just go."

"Yes Sasuke." Sakura said dreamily

The four headed for the resterunt.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter three:Meeting Of The Idiots

As the door opens and the four ninjas walk in Spongebob yells out '' who tht''?

''It's that fuckface'' Patrick barks.

''Your mom'' Naruto said.

''Actually she is in my belly so fuck you doushbag'' Patrick loud voice springs out.

''No really she is so go away before he eats you'' spongebob said cautiously.

''Ya right kiss my ass'' Naruto's cocky voice nailed out.

'' That's it I'm eating you come here Spongebob get me some ketchup'' Patrick said.

''Come and get it tubbey'' Naruto screams.

''No one calls me tubbey'' Patrick hammers out.

''No not here not now meet us at the in side Gary's shell at my house'' Spongebob quickly said.

''Fine be there or be square''Naruto hollers.

''I'm already square dumbass'' Spongebob the four ninjas walk out the restaurant Naruto said '' Were the fuck is his house''?

''We will find it'' Kakashi out of nowhere Spongbob and Patrick walk out they see something in the distance''Sandy'' Patrick's splashy voice rang out.

''Hey guys whates up'' Sandy friendly spoke.

''We have this fight today at my house in Gary's shell can you help us fight these kids please Sandy'' Spongebob begged.

''Sure i'll ranngle them up faster then a farmer hurdling cattle'' Sandy spoke softly.

''Thank you Sandy I really need your help because skinny boy back there called me tubbey'' Patrick grunted.

'' O no he diden't'' Sandy spoke the three of them getting ready to fight the three ninjas from the hidden leaf villiage they suit up with weapens they never saw before.''Were did we get these toys'' Patrick said very stupidly.

''There not toys there guns'' Sandy snapped.

And there they were the there ninja boys and girls ready to fight '' are you ready skinny boy'' Patrick squealed out.

''Just get in the shell tubbey'' Naruto said

'' Ready set GO!'' they started to fight Naruto jumped in the air as he gets hit with a bubble and hits the top of Gary's shell '' Fuck you tubbey'' Naruto yells.''That's it" "BOOM''! At first no one knew what happend then they saw it blood everywhere and it was a shock that would shake the world.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: four chapters done

chapter four:Dead or Alive

That's when they saw it Naruto shot in the chest bleeding everywhere '' Get him to a hospital'' Sacruda pleaded.

'' I'll take him'' Kakashi hollered. There he was running his guts out there it was two steps in front of him he leaped throw a near by window now Kakashi was bleeding with glass throw parts of his body. A person was in the bed but Kakashi didn't care he throw the person out the window put him in the bed and sat there and then Naruto said '' I'm going to kill him dead or alive''

'' Your going to make it I promise'' ddon't mmmake ppromises you can'tt kkkeep'' Naruto caughed out.

'' I can keep it don't worry you will be fine no mater what anyone says's you'll be fine''.As there talking the last two ninjas came in the room with five ninjas walk into the hall way and kakashi say's '' I'm going to kill him if it's the last thing I do''. Just then a docter came in the room and said '' He's going to make,but he wont be able to function for at least five days''

'' Can we go and see him'' Kakashi voice rang out.

'' Yes stay as long as you need" a Doctor in a white hooded suit said

'' Thank you docter'' Kakashi quietly they walk into the room they see someone standing over Naruto but before they could say anything he jumps out the window Kakashi runs over but he's of nowhere kakashi see's him and jumps out the window and chases after him. '' Dam it I messed up my hair now he's really dead'' running at the speed of light kakashi catches him and she's it's Gara '' What the hell are you doing here'' Kakashi hollered.

'' I have to tell you something'' Gara loudly spoke.

'' Fine spit it out''.Meanwhile Spongebob sits on his chair and starts to mumble '' Have you seen my pickle''.

''No but I found my sexy partey hat,sexy party time'' Patrick happily say' then BOOM the door brackes down and Kakashi walks in and said '' I took your pickle and I'm here to kill tubby over there''

'' You fiened give me my fucking pickle '' Spongebob yells out

'' Come and get it '' Kakashi confidently Spongebob jumps forwarded Kakashi pules out a gun and fires. '' Guess what dumb ass I'm a sponge so fuck you and give me my dam pickle'' Spongebob yells out.

''You know what your mama so dumb she soled her car for gas money'' Kakashi rang out.

''Well your mama so stupid I toled her it was chilly out side she ran out side with a bowl and a spoon'' Patrick yelled back.

'' O fuck I'll be back and i will kiss your ass'' .

'' That's kick your ass ho'' spongegbob yells out.

'' O bite me '' Kakashi sprang Kakashi left spongebob and Patrick ran out side and yelled '' you still owe me a fucking pickle''.As Kakashi ran outside a


	5. Chapter 5

AN: sorry it took me a little to finish it but I did it so enjoy

chapter five: In The End

Boy with red hair jumped right in front of the two sea creatures and said'' meet me at Jellyfish fields at dawn.''

'' That's in like two seconds Spongbob and it could be a trap'' Patrick thoughtfully said. As the two walk to Jellyfish fields they suddenly stop and Spongebob yell out '' There's my pickle.''

'' There he is what's your name'' Patrick cries out. he doesn't speak doesn't move just stand there and what looks to be praying.''My name is Gara of the sand and I'm here to tell you I am the one who closed Jellyfish fields.''

'' What why'' Patrick managed to makeout.

''Because I have built the most amazing Your Mama stadium ever'' Gara loud voice sponged out.

'' Well are you going to stand there our play '' Spongebob said

'' So be it'' Gara of them just stand there but then '' your mama's so fat she came outside with a yellow ran coat on and I yelled yo taxi'' Gara hollered.

'' Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone'' Spongebob manage to get they stand there in hushed tone someone dragged along the ground of Jellyfish fields.'' I'm here for my prize'' said the all just sit there until he lifts his was the one and only Naruto from the hidden leaf village.'' Your alive'' Gara yelled out.

'' Yes I'm very much alive and now I'm back to claim my prize'' Naruto softly mentioned.

'' You mean Patrick '' Spongebob said.

'' What o now I mean the pickle but,while I'm here I'll take that to'' Naruto mentioned.

'' Wait I got to pee'' Naruto screamed full of they sit there and wait for Naruto to come back they realize they could just they do but before they do Naruto Say's '' I want to come to''.

'' Ok'' say's everyone in exacted they walk home Naruto say's '' in the end i'm still going to kick your pink but cheeks.''

''Do what you got to do'' Patrick speaks as they walk in the door to Spongebob's pineapple and,sit down they realize theirs no chimps and the t.v. isn't on.


End file.
